i ain’t afraid of your no

i was chatting with my friend today on gchat as we tend to do every day and i had an epiphany. i really like epiphanies because they are those elusive ah ha moments that mean something finally clicked in your mind that can be the catalyst for you removing limitations in your thinking, actions, and speech. ah ha!

as she was updating me on some things happening in her life, i made a flippant comment that she should do something regardless of a no response. why? because we ain’t afraid of your no! was i secretly singing the ghostbusters theme song in my head as i typed it out? maybe! what’s your point? hehehehe. but it wasn’t even the revelation that we are not slaves to the fear of hearing no that gave me the epiphany. sure, releasing our fear of hearing no is worth celebrating in and of itself. so many goals find themselves unachieved and so many lives are unfulfilled because people get stuck at hearing no.

allow me to take a moment to ascend to my soapbox. the word no has been used as a deadly weapon against many a dream. simply hearing those two letters strung together in haste can cause people to completely walk away from their vision, dream, or purpose. for the record, no one has ever died from hearing no. the word no cannot physically hurt you. sure, the sound of a no might sting and can illicit severe feelings of disappointment, anger, and sadness, but no death. no often triggers emotional reactions and as emotions go, they can literally change in seconds. so if you can get angry or feel defeated after hearing the word no, you can just as easily shake it off and keep it moving. why? because no is just a word. it can go in one ear and out the other. (*please note this blog post has nothing to do with disregarding a no from people telling you how they want to engage with you in connection to their bodies. in those cases no means no.)

but like i said earlier, this is not the epiphany. well, for some people it might be the life-changing revelation you needed to adjust your thinking and renew your mind. i will not deny you the opportunity to celebrate that moment.

for those of you who have already learned that one monkey don’t stop no show, allow me to present my epiphany. i operate in a state of favor and grace. i don’t do anything to deserve it and for all intents and purposes, i’m unworthy of it. this is, of course, a function of my faith. i realize not everyone shares my faith. that’s perfectly fine because free will is a great thing. but this is my blog; so my blog, my philosophy. in this place of favor, i have come to accept that people cannot affect the level of favor i walk in because handing out favor is above their pay grade. so if a no feels like a final answer, my guess is that you are asking the wrong questions, or talking to the wrong people. in my case, the only time i believe an answer is final is if i’ve checked in with God and he said it was so. i do temporarily lose my mind and try to argue with God, but these short arms and baby hands prevent any victory from ever taking place. the thing i’ve learned about God though is he will gladly let me fight back, all the while looking out for me so i don’t hurt myself or cause irreversible damage to my future. dang i love me some him!

now, about that no. if you’ve heard it today, yesterday, or last week, check in and see if it resonates with what your heart knows to be true. what is your gut saying? if that no doesn’t sit well as the final answer, then you should probably disregard it and keep pushing forward. chances are the person who delivered it isn’t in position to hand out the favor and ultimate yes you need. in the meantime, please please, please learn how to release your fear of hearing the word no! say it with me, we ain’t afraid of your no!